My Love For Jackie

One life and one chance to find the love you long for
it seems that it has escaped you for so long
one so called love after another
when you do find what you have been looking for
it dose not even seem real
life is funny that way
what is real does not seem so
sometimes what is false will seem so real to you
your heart knows even when you do not
I found my love my true love
I never thought that life would be so good
a love that just fell into my lap and spun my world out of control
maybe that is how you know
the moment you loose all control of your life and begin to think of their life
all of her needs came before mine
nothing in this world means anything to me
only her being happy and having what she needs and wants
I think that I try too hard sometimes and it only goes wrong from there
my love has never changed for Jackie and never will
we will have our hard times and our good times sure
who does not have theme
I am a little off she would say a lot off
I feel sometimes that when I began taking the medication for my nutty mind
things have shifted for us
maybe its me losing it even more
that is how I feel at times
I just wish that our paths would cross each others sometimes
its not that we are having any real problems
just a shift in the foundation
she once trusted me with all her heart and I know that that is gone
I wish that she would trust me the same
I know I have put myself in the positions that would make her question
but I would never do any thing to ruin what we have
Jackie is my whole life the reason that I am still alive
I was at a point of giving up when we met
kind of funny how that works
I have never thought of ending my own life
but I would have welcomed death at that time
we just connected so fast and for whatever reason we ended up together I don’t care
I am just happy that she chose me to spend her life with
I don’t know how to show her how I love her and that is a problem of mine
my stupid self tries to show love by supporting her
but I need to do things different
I want to try to show her in the ways she wants so bad
I am just afraid to for some reason
I feel as though she may reject me for some reason
at times I feel like she is irritated with me
I don’t blame her I have put her through a lot in our six years together
I am just glad she decided to stay with me
I just hope she feels the same way about me
I love her and that is all I know and I still get nervous every time I kiss her
like a little boy and his first kiss
it’s the best feeling I have felt
all I know is that I love her and respect her more than she knows
she is what holds me together
what keeps me living